Posted by: kathryngraves | May 22, 2012

God’s Eyes

“I will guide you with My eye.” Psalm 32:8

Grief and illness come with chaos. Our normal routines are scrambled or eliminated. At first, it’s disorienting. But after a while, things begin to settle into a new routine, a new normal. The funeral is over, decisions made, and details worked out. Family and friends have returned to their lives. Or the diagnosis has been given, a treatment plan worked out and undertaken. Or the divorce is final, belongings and homes divided, and custody set up. Life begins to move on.

What remains is the sense of having been trampled by a herd of horses and picked over by a flock of birds. In my case it was cancer. The treatment and emotional turmoil left me spent. I was so tired I fell asleep sitting straight up in a chair more than once. I hardly had the energy to even think about driving to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription, let alone do it.

I understood the exhaustion would ease and the marks on my body fade – sometime. Those suffering through grief know their desolation will ease – sometime. But the carcass of me and you that remains. What of it? I’m still not sure my hands will ever work properly, or if they do it could take up to a year to get to that point. There will always loom the possibility of recurrence. If you’re suffering a loss from death or divorce, you will have to adjust to life without that person. From our vantage points, life doesn’t look real rosy.

While they will never be what they were, there is hope for our lives. And different doesn’t necessarily mean bad. God says He will guide us with His eye. I remember as a child when my mom would give me “that look.” I knew I had messed up. I also remember the look of approval in her eyes when I did well. She guided me with her eyes. I think that’s what God means. When we’re close to Him, He can teach us and guide us just by the way He looks at us. And because He’s our Father, we know He’s always right and we can trust Him. So we follow those looks. He has to be close for us to see His eyes. He stays close so we can.

I’m watching His face, are you?

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