Posted by: kathryngraves | May 15, 2012

Help at the Break of Dawn

” . . . God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.” Psalm 46:5

 

Sometimes dawn holds new promise and hope. But other times it brings dread. There are days we would just as soon not go through. The day of a loved one’s funeral might be one of those. I dreaded the day I started chemotherapy. I knew it meant part of my body would literally die. Being “treated” really meant I would be half dead and if I survived the “treatment” then I would have surgery. As I approached the day I feared, the Lord allowed me to envision Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane in a whole new light. Since my blood would be sacrificed in order to conquer cancer, I could understand what He suffered a bit better. I also realized that our Savior understood my suffering in a very real way. It was this new level of kinship with Him that gave me strength to submit to the ordeal I faced.

By the time I got to the night before surgery, I was so anxious I couldn’t sleep the whole night. It wasn’t surgery I feared so much as the procedures done without anesthesia beforehand. Some time in the very early hours, when the sky is darkest and my fear was deepest, the Lord gave me a real vision. It was of angels in the Roman Phalanx formation with their shields held in a solid wall and roof around me as we sat in a boat. The boat was sailing across a sea. I wasn’t sure if the sea represented crossing from life to death, or from cancer to no cancer, but it didn’t matter. I finally knew that no matter what happened, I was protected. I also knew those angels would not leave me. After the surgery, in recovery, I woke to a nurse shouting at me to breathe. Every time I would come around, she’d shout at me and I just longed to go back to sleep so she’d leave me alone. I realize now that the angels were docking on the side of no cancer and making sure I stayed alive.

After I made it through all of that, I faced radiation. Let’s just say I dealt with my share of dreaded days. I wanted so badly to skip right past them. But God is so kind to us. He helps us, just at the break of dawn. Just when we think we can’t take it. We can’t do it. The sun is rising and we can’t stop it. This is where Jesus meets us and offers  His help. When our hearts melt and fail, He comes alongside.

Jesus didn’t stop my pain. It was horrible. But He went through it with me. I was never alone. He loves me so much He joined me in my pain. And He joins you today. I wrote this in my journal before dawn on the day a friend had to donate her son’s organs. It was no accident the day was Sunday. We remember the resurrection of Jesus on Sunday. We know that because of Jesus, her son was in heaven and that he gave physical life to others by his death. There was her help.

Whatever you face today, you’ll make it through because God will help you, like He helped me and like he helped my friend. Just at the break of dawn.

Photo: Morning of Wonder by Jennifer Ellison

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